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Saturnalia
Ignoring the World's Problems Since 18 A.D.
 We've all kinda just fallen off the bandwagon, haven't we?

Current Mood: disappointed disappointed

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I feel nothing.

Current Location: not japan.
Current Mood: worried nothing.
Current Music: qotsa.

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I went to Japan.

I got engaged.

I am happy and ready to start my life again.

 
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High all,

ooow wwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhh

wolf howling.

all i want to do is put on makeup. is that weird?





i care not.
Imoen?!

What the fuck time is it?

I have to work tomorrow.
Thanksssssssssssssssss.

Current Mood: devious lick

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Have you ever had one of those moments where you just stop and realize...

...that you hate all of your friends?

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 i just

hate this.

i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. 

please...I want to go on autopilot.

Current Mood: nauseated nauseated

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...failed. Today I failed. I ate continuously. Not a lot, like, huge meals, and not necessarily bad food, but I didn't restrict.  I also took a 3 hour nap instead of start the massive amount of homework that's due tomorrow.  So now I'm going to drink some coffee and do this homework.

I feel really bad.  I feel like I should apologize.






I'm sorry. 

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Current Mood: disappointed disappointed

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I "binged" today... sort of, not really.  And I don't like detailing it, because I feel ashamed, and admitting that I did is enough for me.   

All day today, it seemed, everyone around me was making very emphatic, detailed conversation about food.  I did not invent this trend subconsciously, just because I'm not keen on eating lately.  It truly is a phenomenon.  It doesn't bother me, I just think it's funny and ironic and beautiful the way something as primal and large as chaos seems to percolate down to the most mundane, silly things.  At lunch, all anyone could talk about was "soul food," "black momma home cookin'," "beans an' cornbread," etc.  It was actually quite funny and lighthearted.  Didn't bother me a bit.  At the bank (where my mother happens to work), I stopped in to make a withdrawl and then my mom asked me to start the pan of macaroni and cheese (of all things) in the oven.  It was just so coincidental and yet... incidentally, of little incidence.  All that and the usual drawl during 3rd block of how hungry and starving everyone is.

"Waaaahhhhhh!" is all I hear.

Current Mood: amused amused

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Just when I could tell my stomach was actually shrinking to get used to the lesser intake, I had to go out with my parents and grandparents for dinner.  I hardly ate half of it, and it made me sick. I thought I was going to explode. I wanted to purge it when I got home, but I've never done that... never been able to, but not for lack of trying. I laid down for a while until it settled, but of course I still feel terrible.

Ugh. And I was going to take pictures tonight, but I won't, obviously, because I'm all expanded again.

Current Mood: nauseated nauseated
Current Music: Muse - Shrinking Universe.

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